VanAntwerp Attorneys, LLP
Phone: 606-618-0698

Avoiding pitfalls through effective co-parenting

Parenting during a marriage presents significant challenges. The happiest of married couples can often disagree over the approach to raising children. Others decide to split up their roles, playing to their respective strengths.

However, when parents divorce and no longer reside under one roof, greater hurdles exist. Personal issues, if not outright animosity can serve as barriers to productive co-parenting. Children also face the temptation of playing one parent against the other.

Common issues arise that require co-parents to look beyond their disputes.

Consistency Between Homes

While consistency is always in the best interests of children, achieving that is daunting at best. However, it does ease the transition, as one home becomes two. Open lines of communication between exes are vital to iron out any inconsistencies. While the marital partnership may have ended, post-marital partnering must continue to stay on the proverbial “same page” while promoting the children’s peace of mind.

Relinquishing Control

Living in two houses takes away half the control a parent once had, particularly if they were the primary caregiver. Letting go of authority once enjoyed is challenging. However, finding middle ground and being consistent in enforcing rules can go a long way to build a strong co-parenting relationship.

Smear Tactics

One or both ex-spouses speaking badly of the other can do more harm to children who may feel a sense of unworthiness and distrust. Problems between parents should be resolved face-to-face, not though their offspring serving as intermediaries. While one ex cannot control how the other ex conducts themselves, taking the high road will resonate with children as easily as engaging in negative P.R. campaigns.

Avoid Judgment

With separate homes come separate experiences for children. Following a visit with an ex, they will likely share what happened with the other parent over a weekend or holiday. While challenging, listening without judgment is vital, as is a good “poker face”. Think of it as an opportunity to get to know them better.

For more information on effective co-parenting and its benefits on children of divorce, contact VanAntwerp Attorneys, LLP, at 606-618-0698.

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